Friday, May 3, 2013

Personally, you never know!

Hi guys, 
Today, I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts...well one of it.
I lost my best friend to internal bleeding after an accident that occurred on December 26th 2011. Although it seems like a long time, the memories linger on. A lot of people do not understand why I would dwell on it for so long but I guess no one would want to be in my shoes to try to understand. This blog post isn't really about that though, it’s about her boyfriend.
All three of us were friends, well all four including my best friends ex. After her death, her boyfriend would call me every day because he couldn't believe she was gone, he didn't have anyone to talk to and he realized that he had really loved her (something he didn't share often with her when she was alive). At first, I was still taking the hit of her death so I wouldn't know the words to use to comfort him. Sometimes, I would cry ... but most times I had to stay strong. We would talk a lot from December 2011 till about February 2012 when I started to get tired. I felt like he needed to get over it, I would still encourage him but in my mind I really wished he would stop hurting as much and be more involved with their daughter that just turned one. In April, we stopped communicating much, I was getting busier, forgetting everything and his threats of suicide would be responded with a once a week text from me. I felt he would get over it sooner or later.
Sometimes in April ... or there about, her family took his daughter from him, his anxiety heightened and I told him she was probably more taken care of since he was a student. I thought that if he went to visit her regularly, that would be enough... because I wasn't feeling his pain I would have never known it wasn't enough for him. He would go still go to school because he had exams to write and I would still text him or call him to make sure he was doing okay. By June 2012, I assumed everything was okay... I didn't bother calling him as often, he was doing great, visiting his daughter and I was hearing no more complaints. Maybe he sensed he was beginning to bug me, I would never know... well because July 2012, my best friends ex called me and told me He died! He slept at night and didn't wake up the next morning or ever again. I sat at the corridor and wept bitterly.
Honestly speaking, I think he might have killed himself. Since its Africa, we would never know the cause of his death if his family didn't demand to know.
My point is; I thought I could understand what he was going through because she was as dear to me as she was to him but I WAS WRONG. He lived with her and had a daughter with her. The bond they had was too great for me to understand and with each passing day I wish I was there to wipe his tears and remind him that she would have wanted life for him and for their daughter.
Never assume you understand what people are going through because no two persons have ever been in the same situation before.
Below are some pictures of us together in high school.

Lady in Red

2006

2008
Thanks for stopping by :)

4 comments:

  1. You're so right ......one can never really understand the situation of someone , even though it might seem like the same thing is affecting you both . May they rest in peace , amen .

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  2. yes, i agree with u. you never really know how it feels until u are really in dat person's situation. i learnt mine the hard way then i told my self going tru the same situation does not mean it will affect both of you the same way. when pple talk i just tell dem u can never understand. May their soul RIP.amen.

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  3. Aw, really nice post! That is so true, no matter how much you sympathize with others you can't exactly feel what they feel, but at least you were there at the time to comfort and support him! <3
    xx

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  4. my dear i agree with. May their souls rest in peace.amen

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