Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Secret Identity

My subconsciousness was awaken at age 5. It was that time when I decided who my real parents were. Even when my mother acted mean, pulled my ears or called me a naughty child, I knew she was my mother.  And my father? He was hardly ever around. But the smile in my mums eyes every-time he called home asking for his youngest daughter was real. His voice gave me hope and I longed for his return every time he traveled. My family was an average family. I had two elder brothers, Aaron and Vince, an elder sister, Martha and Sam who was my twin brother.
We were quite happy. My sister was so loving, always playing with her younger sisters hair. I had this soft, long and curly African Hair, it was one reason my senior most brother, Vince, would play with me. He thought my eyes were cute too. My elder brother, Aaron, was so into music. He loved to sing to me a lot. I was like the doll of the house. Although I had a twin brother, It was obvious they loved me more.

My twin brother and I had a weird relationship. We were very close but we were never seen together. We had separate lives and of course I was a barbie girl, the very last child to come forth my mothers womb. I was a little cutie with light brown eyes, everyone loved me.
My twin brother was a little too quiet, I was the outspoken twin. As we grew older, we drifted farther apart. My family always tried to make him feel like they didn't love him more but it was too obvious how they showered me with gifts. Vince loved me the most. He would carry me around, hug me and keep me company when I felt down. I was always scared of the little crickets that chirped at night. He would hug me till I fell asleep, we were really close.
When I turned 11, I was pretty smart. I was sent off to high school in a different state than my twin brother. I was going to miss Sam so much because we just started to get really close.
I was placed in the boarding house so I could make more friends and learn to live life on my own. Although my parents thought it was the best decision they ever made. I can say today, they could have made a better one.
I sneaked in a phone into the boarding house and every night, I would call Sam and talk to him about school. It was fun, we were young. We would talk about our little girlfriends and school and classes. Occasionally we would study math together when the call was free.
Vince had started smoking and doing drugs, I was too young to understand but I was intelligent to know better. I promised myself I was going to talk to him when I went home for the holidays, I was excited to become a grown up and I did want to see the rest of my family.

As I got off the bus, I repositioned my back pack and headed down the street. It was my little idea of surprising my parents, I had come home myself. I walked down the street proud in my uniform. My school was the best school in the state I went to and almost everyone in the country could recon with my high school. As I walked down, I heard loud chatters and people started to wave at me, it felt awesome.
I knocked on the door, my sister was there to answer. She pulled down the spoon in her hands and hugged me tightly.
"Mummy, Dad and Sam went to your school to pick you up"
"I...I just wanted to surprise them, I said."
"How did you get here, Samantha?"
"I took the school bus that was going to the state and then a mini bus from the state entrance home, I exhausted all my money and.... *sigh* I'm Hungry"
"I stayed back to cook for you though, the food would be ready soon sweetie".
"Where is Vince?"
"He is upstairs, waiting for mum and dad to return".
I walked up the stairs screaming his name. He ran out of his room really quickly, grabbed me and gave me a hug. Then he pulled back.
"Aren't you happy to see me, Vince"
"Oh I am...really happy..." he stuttered
He was a lot taller than I remember, looking muscular like he was ready to protect me from danger.
The rest of the night was eventful. At first my parents were mad that I came home alone, they freaked out so much till Vince convinced them that I was growing up so fast. Aaron came in the house just in time for dinner and we got a chance to have the little mushy brother-sister time.
After dinner, we all had turns talking about how the months had gone by and about all we had missed during the month. I particularly spent more time with Sam as we had way more things to talk about.

After all the chatter, I retired to my bed. It felt so warm and cozy and yes it felt like Home again.
I drifted to sleep quickly, dreaming about the cruelty of the boarding house and about how a prince charming came to school to save me.
He grabbed me by the hands and walked me slowly towards the gate, shielding me from anyone that was trying to stop me, it was magical. As we started to walk towards the car, he looked in my eyes. His eyes were beautiful, it reminded me of Vince. I felt myself smile in real life but then again in my dream, he pulled the door gently and ushered me into what looked like paradise. As I started to walk through, I heard a loud thud. As I turned back to look, cupid started to disappear, his arrow hanging from my prince's back, my prince's eyes glared in sadness. I screamed so hard till I was awake.
And those eyes stared right at me. Vince eyes staring desperately.
"How long have you been here Vince?"
"Long enough to hear you screaming."
He glanced across my shoulder, grabbed my blanket and started to wipe the sweat off my shoulder.

I felt the warmth, I think he felt it too. He leaned in, pressing his body against mine. I was startled, I started to pull back, He pressed his finger against my lips in attempt to keep me quiet.
"You have grown so beautifully Samantha"
I started to talk again...."shhh"
and then he forced his way in, grabbed me by my shorts and before I could scream for help, He was inside me. Violently riding me like I was stubborn horse, going in stronger as I tried to scream. His hands were over my mouth, I started to bleed, hitting and pleading for him to stop... I had seen it in the movies, never thought my brother could be so cruel. I loved him so much and yet he hurt me so bad. Tears trickled down my face.
When he was done, he climbed out of me with no sign of remorse.
I looked up at him, "How could you, how could my brother do this to me... how could you Vince"
"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!" and he walked towards the locked door.
My whole family was at the other side of the door, he walked out on them leaving the sound of his footsteps hard on the stairs...Aaron running after him with something that looked like a piston.
I looked at my mom's face...full of tears.
I managed to say, "He is not my brother?"
My mum ran to hug me as my father hung his head in utmost shame.
Who really am I?!

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